It’s June 28, 2012
A lady enters the office of Blyth Public School and
approaches the school secretary.
Sect'y: Good morning.
How may I help you?
Lady: Good morning. We are moving to Blyth next
month and I would like to enroll our children for this school in September.
Sect'y: Sorry. We are not accepting registrations for
this school.
Lady: I didn’t realize there is more than one
school in Blyth.
Sect'y: This is the only school in Blyth today, and as
of tomorrow it is closing.
Lady: You mean there won't be any school for my
children?
Sect'y: Oh, there'll be a school for them. You have a
choice. They can either go south to Londesborough or north to Wingham.
Lady: Well I am going to be working in Wingham, so
I guess they will go there. So, we're talking about Wingham Public School?
Sect'y: No, that school is closing, too.
Lady: But you said ......Wait a minute, why are
these schools closing?
Sect'y: We are closing many schools: Wingham, Blyth,
East Wawanosh, Turnberry, Brussels.
Lady: But if all the schools are closing ......
Sect'y: Don’t worry, Ma’am. We do have a beautiful new
school.
Lady: So why are all these schools closing?
Sect'y: They have to send the children from several schools to fill up this
new school.
Lady: So why did they decide to build the new
school?
Sect'y: Well they had to have a place for the children
whose schools are closing.
Lady: Typical government circular argument. What is this
new school called?
Sect'y: Maitland River Elementary School. It opens
its doors on Monday morning. We are looking after registrations here right now.
Lady: Well, that’s great. I’ll register them in
Maitland River Elementary School today. Can you tell me where it is so I can
drive around and show it to the kids?
Sect'y: No, you can’t.
Lady: Why can’t I see it?
Sect'y: It hasn’t been built yet.
Lady: But you said, its doors were opening next
Monday.
Sect'y: It doesn’t have any doors yet. It’s just now under
construction. Opening doors is just a figure of speech.
Lady: Now look here. I’ve had just about enough of
this nonsense. Figure of speech, indeed! Are we on TV or something? Is somebody
going to step out here and say SURPRISE! THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT SPORT! I really don't have time for all this. "You can
do this. No you can’t do this. First you see it, now you don’t!" I want to speak
with the principal and RIGHT NOW!
Sect'y: You can’t. She isn’t here!
Lady: Why am I not surprised? Where is she?
Sect'y: She’s working at the new school today.
Lady: Working at the new school? The Maitland
River Elementary School ? The one that hasn’t been built?
Sect'y: That’s right.
Lady: Does she know that it hasn’t been built yet?
Sect'y: We don’t want to break it to her – too suddenly!
We’re sure she’ll notice it herself – gradually!
Lady: I am running short on time. I am sure there is enough weird behaviour going on here to fill a PhD
thesis, but I have to get our kids registered. I want you to do this and please
don’t give me any more of these little road blocks. Agreed?
Sect'y: Sure. That’s why we are here.
Lady: I have my little Mavis who is starting into
Junior Kindergarten. What can you do for her?
Sect'y: Well, the
Kindergarten children are going to Turnberry.
Lady: But you said Turnberry Public School is being closed tomorrow.
Sect'y: That’s right but it is becoming The Turnberry
Campus of Maitland River Elementary School as of Monday morning. That’s where Mavis will
go.
Lady: So is there a real brick and mortar building there with
doors and a roof and teachers?
Sect'y: Oh, of course! Except the teachers won't be
there till September.
Lady: Now for my next child. Mark is going into
Grade 3. Turnberry for him as well?
Sect'y: No. He’ll go to Wingham.
Lady: Aha! I’m one ahead of you. Let me pre-empt
your speech. Wingham Public School is closing tomorrow. MRES does not exist
yet. So my little Mark will be attending the Wingham Campus of Maitland River
Elementary School. Am I right?
Sect'y: You are absolutely right. Do you have another
child?
Lady: Yes, and I am going to tempt fate and tell
you where she will be going. Francine is going into Grade 8 and she will also
be attending the Wingham Campus of Maitland River Elementary School.
Sect'y: Wrong!
Lady: Do you never give up? Is there no bottom to
your little bag of tricks? What do you propose doing to my Francine?
Sect'y: She will be attending F.E. Madill High School.
Lady: No, no, no. Francine is going into Grade 8.
She is not going to high school. I’m afraid you are in the wrong this time.
Sect'y: Maitland River Elementary School is a Grade 2 to 6 school. F.E. Madill as of
next Monday becomes a Grade 7 to 12 school.
Lady: OK, Miss whatever your name is, you win
again. Now I want you to listen to me while I summarize my first encounter with
the craziest school system ever devised. My family and I are moving to the lovely
village of Blyth which is about to lose its only school. We have three children of grade
school age, and they will each be attending a different school. This is a
temporary arrangement while this school board gets around to building the Taj
Mahal. The board is pretending that this lovely new school is real, but it in
reality is still on a drawing board in the office of a very frustrated
architect.
Why on earth are they closing the
schools twelve or more months before they get the new school built and ready to accept our wee darlings?
Sect'y: This plan is intended to create a smooth transition for all the children from the old schools to the new school environment. The
children will be grouped wherever possible with the children they will be with
in the new school. The children can get a head start on developing the culture
of Maitland River Elementary School
instead of having to go through that very challenging process when they
actually transition into that wonderful new building. We want them to feel
comfortable, free from the stress of change involved in leaving one environment
and moving into another very different environment.
Lady: I'll bet it took you a while to memorize that
speech? Some bureaucrat wrote that for you and I have to wonder what he is trying to hide. You have put me through about 20
transitions today exposed to schools that exist today, but won't exist
tomorrow, a school that is opening doors it doesn’t have, campus schools that
have no parent school, high schools that take in elementary school kids. The children of Blyth are being put through
this insane process. Now, tell me this, and I am asking you to be brutally
honest. Are the people
of this village happy about their school closing and all these changes?
Sect'y: There are a couple of old guys creating a bit
of a fuss over this but everybody else seems to be accepting the change. A few
people signed a petition to stop the closure, but it’s the school board that
decides these things.
Lady: How many people signed the petition?
Sect'y: Just a few over 600.
Lady: What is the population of this village?
Sect'y: Almost a thousand people.
Lady: I would say that’s almost unanimous
disapproval. Doesn’t the opinion of the community count for something?
Sect'y: The school board is not concerned about the
community. Their only concern is the school and the children. We do it all for
the children.
Lady: And
the school board goes along with this?
Sect'y: Of course. It's their idea, well with a bit of prompting by the administrators.
Lady: What are they going to do with this
building? It looks to be in excellent condition.
Sect'y: That has not been decided yet.
Lady: I have a suggestion. They should convert
this building into a maximum security mental institution and lock all of the
board members and administrators in it.
Sect'y: They can’t do that.
Lady: Why not?
Sect'y: They were all committed to another school in
Seaforth a few years ago for the same offenses!
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